


Valdrlund

by renlem



Series: Stjarnavetr [3]
Category: Loki - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Loss of Virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-11
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-20 07:33:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4778876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renlem/pseuds/renlem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A century before Stjarnavetr belonged to Loki, she belonged to Valdrlund, crown prince of the Vanir. Eighteen-year-old Stjarnavetr has unwillingly and unwittingly managed to catch the eye of the lecherous crown prince and has been summoned to court to serve as the queen’s handmaiden by day and the prince’s lover by night.</p><p>(This one shot takes place about a century before Stjarna came to Asgard and depicts her first night as Valdrlund’s mistress and the loss of her virginity. Loki is not in this one shot. This is just background into Stjarna’s relationship with Valdrlund.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Valdrlund

Stjarnavetr

I was standing by the window and gazing solemnly out at the verdant landscape. Even if I had not come here by choice and even if I felt out of place and uncomfortable, I could not deny that I was pleased with the view. Night was falling and I thought it very beautiful. From the room I had been given two days ago, I could see the rolling hills just outside the palace grounds, the thick forest, and the distant, snow-capped purple mountains.

I had been studying the countryside for a while now when suddenly there came a knocking on my door. I turned around and wondered who it could possibly be, for I had only just met the queen and the other ladies the day before and knew hardly anybody else here at court. I went to the door, hesitantly opened it, and peeked out into the corridor.

A boy stood there who looked to be about my age. He had dark hair and dark eyes and smiled when he saw me.

“Good evening,” he quipped. “I am Skapgódr, His Highness Valdrlund’s page. His Highness has requested your presence this evening.”

My heart seemed to skip a beat.

“The prince requests me?” I inquired softly.

“Yes.”

“What does he want?” I asked quietly.

Skapgódr stared at me and then glanced to the side as if he was embarrassed. “Erm… he only requested your presence, my lady.”

I looked down at the ground, feeling my insides tighten in apprehension. I knew what the prince wanted—my father had warned me of it before I had left home to come here—but it was still such a foreign concept to me.

I slowly looked back up at Skapgódr and whispered, “I have to go, don’t I?”

Skapgódr opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it. He did not know what to say. I wondered if any woman he had been sent to fetch had ever displayed so much reluctance in accompanying him to his master’s chambers.

I gave a little nod and slipped outside into the corridor. I quietly shut my door behind me as Skapgódr turned around and began walking. I followed him and as we walked in silence, I attempted to control my breathing, tried not to imagine what was to come.

Though I had never lain with another—never even kissed another—I had heard talk of things like this. I knew why I had been called here to court and I was afraid. Father had been very upset when I had received a summons from the prince a few weeks ago requesting my presence at court. He had despaired and told me this was all his fault. If he had not taken me to the palace after Mother had died, the prince would not have seen me and none of this would have happened. But there was nothing we could do about it; we very well could not simply ignore the crown prince’s order.

Too soon, we came to the prince’s door. My heart was hammering in my chest as Skapgódr knocked on the door and announced, “Your Highness, I have brought her.”

“Open the door,” came the muffled reply from within.

I clasped my hands tightly in front of me as Skapgódr turned the handle and pushed the door open. He stood aside and inclined his head, indicating that I was to enter, but I only stood there, frozen. I wanted to ask Skapgódr if he would take me back to my chambers; I did not want to go in, but Skapgódr only looked questioningly at me.

“My lady?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

I flinched and took a deep breath and went to pass him, realizing that whether I wished it or not, I had to go in.

I looked around when I entered.

Prince Valdrlund’s chambers were very large, but then again he was the crown prince of Vanaheim. There were weapons scattered around. Swords and knives lay about and there were even a few shields lined up against one wall. I also noticed a spear in the corner as well as a bow.

And then my eyes landed on him.

He was seated at his table, a large round thing where he had been eating.

Suddenly, the door behind me shut and I nearly jumped.

The prince laughed at my reaction. He said, “Go ahead and take your shoes off, Stjarnavetr.”

I did so with trepidation and set them carefully by his door. When I turned around, I saw that he was standing now. I quickly took him in. He wore a pair of brown leather pants and boots and a tunic with a leather vest. I had heard that Prince Valdrlund spent most of his time outside training, so he probably did not dress like many of the other courtiers, choosing to be comfortable rather than fashionable.

But I remembered having seen him in much fancier dress. It was when my father, the royal court painter of Vanaheim, had brought me to the palace to sit in on Prince Valdrlund’s portrait. At the time, the prince had expressed an interest in me. While I had been reading a book, every time I glanced up, he was studying me with those bright blue eyes of his. He stared at me and even winked once or twice when my father was not looking.

I had thought him very handsome, for he had been dressed so regally for his portrait. I had been flattered as well, for I had never had a man act so around me. After my father had finished one of his daily sessions, the prince had sought me out and inquired after me. He had told me that I was very pretty and had even touched my cheek.

But I did not feel so flattered now. I felt scared, for I knew the reason for my being here.

Prince Valdrlund must have noticed my uneasiness, for he asked with a smile, “Would you like some wine?”

“Yes,” I answered immediately.

He laughed again and refilled his own cup from the flagon on his table. He walked up to me and I swallowed as he approached. He handed me the cup and I took it, feeling a jolt go through me when his fingers brushed against mine.

“Thank you, Your Highness,” I said quietly, lifting the cup to my mouth.

He shook his head. “There are no formalities here, Stjarnavetr. You will call me Valdrlund.”

I gave a little nod as I drained the cup.

“Would you like another?” he inquired, raising his eyebrows in amusement.

I briefly debated on saying yes, if only to keep the inevitable at bay, but I knew it would not make much difference.

When I finished, I said, “No, Your—Valdrlund. Thank you.”

He smiled and took the cup from me. As he set it on a nearby table, I sighed quietly. I could already feel the warmth of the wine seeping through me. I prayed it would help me to relax, for I was incredibly tense and trying to quell this subtle trembling of my body.

When Valdrlund came back and stood in front of me, I looked up at him. He very nearly towered over me; he was so tall and I had to tilt my head up to meet his cool blue gaze, but I could not look at him for long. I glanced back down at the ground, feeling this uncomfortable warmth spreading over my already flushed skin.

“I must admit, Stjarnavetr,” he murmured, “I have been so eager to see you again.”

I looked up at him in surprise, which made him chuckle.

“You are even prettier than I remember.”

I could not help the little smile that tugged instinctively at the corner of my lips.

And then he raised his hand and I stiffened slightly when he ran the backs of his fingers across my cheek, tracing down with his fingertip the outline of my jaw. When he took my chin between his thumb and first finger and lifted my face up, I stared up at him, unable to tear my eyes away. He closed his eyes as he leaned down and kissed me. I slowly closed my eyes and stood motionless, unsure of what to do. After a moment, Valdrlund deepened the kiss and I was surprised to feel his tongue running across my bottom lip. He took it gently between his teeth and sucked on it before pushing his tongue past my parted lips.

I felt a brief flare of panic in the pit of my stomach, but I quickly tamped it down.

His tongue, so warm and wet and fleshy, moved through my mouth as if exploring. He tasted of wine and smoked meat, which is what I assumed he had been eating before my arrival. Hesitantly, and feeling equally as foolish, I moved my own tongue against his. I had never kissed anybody before and was not sure what to do, but Valdrlund did not say anything as I attempted to kiss him back. He only moved his hands to either side of my neck and pushed his long fingers up into my hair, tilting my head up even more and pulling my front against his.

His body felt so hard and unyielding against mine—not at all welcoming or comforting.

And then he broke the kiss and said breathlessly, “Have you never kissed another before?”

I shook my head no, lips still tingling from his kiss.

“I can tell,” he grinned.

I looked down and to the side, feeling embarrassment. “I am sorry,” I whispered.

“It is no matter,” he breathed, leaning down to eagerly capture my mouth in another kiss. This one seemed desperate; he moved his lips against mine and pushed my head back and I held onto his arms, not knowing what else to do. When he finally broke the kiss this time, he murmured breathlessly against my lips, “Undress me.”

“What?” I said in a panic, staring at him in shock.

Valdrlund withdrew his fingers from my hair and took a step back. He held his arms out and repeated, “Undress me.”

I stared at him for a long horrible moment, my stomach twisting in nervousness. When finally I gathered enough courage, I took a hesitant step forward and reached out to grasp the leather laces on his vest. He watched me, a small smile playing on his lips, as I pulled at the little ties. After I had slipped the vest off his shoulders, I held it unsurely in my hands. I did not know whether to drop it on the floor or if there was a special place for it.

“Come on,” he said abruptly, attempting to mask his impatience. I flinched as he took the vest from me and tossed it unceremoniously to the side.

Now I lifted my arms and slowly undid the laces on the collar of his tunic. He raised his arms and bent forward, but I still had to lift up on my toes to pull it over his head. As I pulled away, I could not help but to let my eyes rove over his bare upper body. Valdrlund was not pale like me, for he spent most of his time outside and his skin was much more tanned. His chest, which was covered in a fine smattering of blond hair, and stomach were very hard; the muscles seemed to ripple beneath his taut skin every time he moved.

I am sure that for many women Valdrlund was very pleasing to look at, but in that moment I was trying my best not to think too far ahead. I tried instead to focus on the task he had given me.

But now I came to his pants and I froze. I looked up at him and he only smiled down at me. And so with shaky fingers I began pulling at the laces of his pants, but before I could finish he grabbed my hands.

“We’re not there yet, love,” he chuckled, pulling at me until I was turned around and facing away from him. I let out a startled breath and felt my heart speed up when he pulled my body flush with his. My skin prickled when he gently brushed my hair out of the way and draped it over one of my shoulders.

He touched me slowly, running his hands down my arms. When he moved them and splayed his fingers on my hips, I suddenly felt his breath warm on the side of my neck and then the scrape of his stubble on my skin. I closed my eyes and shivered and felt his lips smile against me. He kissed my neck and shoulder as he ran his hands up over my belly until he cupped my breasts and kneaded the soft flesh beneath the fabric in his large hands.

I let my lips part slightly and felt my breaths coming faster. Despite the circumstances of my being here, I could not deny how my body responded to him touching me like this, to his kissing me. I daresay I liked it, though I should have felt shame. I could feel my nipples hardening under his touch, could feel this hollow ache beginning between my legs.

I hesitantly leaned back on my heels and pressed against him. He turned his head and breathed sensually into my ear, “What lovely breasts you have, Stjarnavetr. I want to see them.”

And now came another flare of panic. He let go of me and moved his hands to my back where he began tugging at the laces of my gown. Within moments, he had it loose and off. He dropped it to the ground and I stood there in naught but my shift and woolen stockings.

“Take it off,” he demanded. His eyes were roving up and down my body, studying me as if he could already see everything through the fabric.

I tried to unsuccessfully suppress the trembling in my fingers as I took a fistful of the thin dress in my hands and began pulling it up. As it rose higher and higher, exposing more of me to him, it felt as if my heart was about to burst out of my chest. When at last the shift was over my head, I bunched it up and tentatively dropped it to the ground.

Now I felt completely vulnerable. That measly scrap of fabric had seemed my last line of defense and now I stood there bared to his hungry gaze. I stared at his eyes, saw how they lingered on my breasts and the spot between my legs. I had never been naked in front of a man before and I felt embarrassment, but Valdrlund was looking at me in what almost appeared to be desire.

After I had bent down to take my stockings off, Valdrlund walked up to me and said, “Come.” He put his hand on the small of my back and pushed me gently towards his bed, which now seemed to loom forebodingly in front of me. When I apparently was too slow in climbing onto it, I felt Valdrlund’s arm beneath my legs and he heaved me up onto the bed. I fell with a bounce onto it and before I could even sit up, he was in after me and moving to straddle me.

I let out a gasp when he leaned down and captured my mouth in a heady kiss. He pressed his hips against me and I could feel the hard swell of his arousal through his pants. Though I was beyond nervous, I tried to respond to him as I knew was expected of me. I put my hands on his sides and kissed him back, attempting not to do what I had done before.

And then he abruptly broke the kiss and moved to kneel between my legs. I gripped the bedcovers in apprehension as he began hastily tugging at the laces on his pants. Within moments, he had them pushed down over his hips and he had kicked them off and I heard them fall to the floor. I kept my eyes averted from the spot between his legs—he looked so odd, so different from me—and instead looked off to the side. He laughed as he fell back over me and caught himself on his arms.

“You are too shy, my little one,” he said with a smile. He reached down and ran his hand up my inner leg, close to my most intimate parts. I flinched when he pressed his fingers between my legs and I looked up and stared wide-eyed at him as he touched me.

My breaths started to come faster and my eyes fluttered closed. I heard him let out a breathy chuckle and he murmured, “Do you like that, Stjarnavetr?”

He touched me slowly, following the creases of my inner thighs, up and down through my folds, only lightly brushing against my entrance. And then, much to my consternation, I could feel this moisture between my legs and I lifted my hips a little. I had never been with a man like this and it was almost alarming to me to feel my body responding like this, especially concerning the circumstances.

But it was when he withdrew his fingers from between my legs and pressed his hips forward, when I could feel every inch of him hard and eager against me, that I truly panicked. Now I tried to sit up, tried to pull myself up and away from him, but he quickly wrapped an arm around my middle and caught me.

“Ah, ah,” he chided, holding my gaze.

He settled onto my body and I finally fell back onto the bed. I tried to uselessly close my legs on his waist, for I felt dreadfully vulnerable lying like this, spread out so helplessly beneath him.

With his free hand, Valdrlund ran his fingers almost lovingly down the side of my face. “You are a virgin?”

I could only manage to nod before he reached between us and grasped himself. He guided himself to my entrance and I tensed up when he slowly ran himself up and down through my folds, coating himself in that newly accumulated wetness.

Just as he positioned himself to enter me, I turned my head to the side and tried to focus on one of the shields he had leaning against the far wall. I knew what was about to happen. I had heard talk before about when a man lay with a woman for the first time. I knew there would be an amount of pain and suddenly I was even more nervous than before. I am sure Valdrlund could hear how my heart was pounding in my chest, could feel the subtle trembling of my body.

But then he shifted above me and I felt his fingers on my jaw and he forced me to look up at him.

“Up here,” he said with a little grin.

And then he drove his hips forward, pushing hard and all the way into me in one stroke until I felt the flat of his hips collide with my inner thighs. I cried out in pain and squeezed my eyes shut and grabbed his arms for anything to hold on to. Tears instantaneously gathered behind my eyelids and seeped out the corners, running down and into my hair.

The pain between my legs was sharp and biting and I could not hold back a whimper. I attempted to move my body in any way to accommodate his length inside me, perhaps to ease the pain of this sudden, hard intrusion into my untried and tender core, but he was so heavy on me and I could not move.

I could hear Valdrlund breathing hard, could feel how his stomach expanded against mine with each deep breath, and could feel him practically throbbing inside me, stretching me as I had never been before.

I was almost fearful to open my eyes. I did not want to see.

Valdrlund put his hands on either side of me on the bed and gently rolled his hips against me.

Now I slowly opened my eyes, which were still blurred with tears, and saw that Valdrlund was looking down at me.

“Hello, love,” he grinned. “That was not so bad, was it?”

I did not say anything. I was still focused on that lingering pain between my legs.

And then he pulled nearly all the way out of me and slowly pushed back in. When I slightly arched my back and whimpered, his smile grew. Now he began languidly moving back and forth, using his entire body. Within moments, the pain between my thighs had mostly been alleviated and given rise to a more full and pleasing sensation.

I spread my legs wider, surprised at the sudden and small amount of pleasure I was gleaning from his movements.

“Do you like that?” Valdrlund asked softly, leaning down to plant a light kiss on my damp forehead.

Now that the pain was mostly gone, I found that, oddly enough, I did like the feeling of him inside me.

“Yes,” I whispered.

He smiled widely, looking incredibly pleased.

Valdrlund paused momentarily in his movements to reach back for my legs, which he lifted up and draped around his waist. The change in position seemed to accentuate that wonderful sensation between my thighs and I squeezed my legs on him and let my head fall back.

He began moving faster, increasing the force of his rhythm. Every time he buried himself in me I gasped, feeling this cloud of warmth building in my lower half. Every thrust seemed to stoke it higher and higher and I knew what it was. I had brought myself to culmination before—admittedly, not many times—and it had never been very satisfying, but this felt so incredibly different.

And even though I felt some sense of shame that I was even remotely enjoying this, my body was responding to it all of its own accord. I very much liked the feelings he was invoking in me, this wonderful heat in my body, and I was lifting up towards Valdrlund, reaching towards something I had only ever experienced in the privacy of my own room and even then, it had never felt like this—never so good.

But suddenly, Valdrlund’s rhythm became erratic and he faltered and went still above me. I held tightly to him, breathing hard, wondering what he was doing, when I felt a wet sort of warmth blooming inside me. He held himself there for a long moment, motionless above me, his face a mask of what looked like intense pleasure, before his body went slack and he pulled out of me and collapsed next to me on the bed.

I only lay there and stared up at the ceiling. I slowly closed my legs, feeling with some disgust this wetness coating my inner thighs. I could feel it dripping slowly down and I knew it was his essence. There was also a tightness between my legs; some small part of it was pain, but the other part was this empty and aching feeling of want.

Abruptly, I felt tears spring to my eyes. I turned my head and tried not to make a show of wiping them away. Valdrlund did not notice, much to my relief.

After a few minutes of lying there in silence, Valdrlund sat up and leaned over me.

He asked if I knew the spell to inhibit pregnancy, but before I could respond he laughed.

“No, of course you wouldn’t know it. Here, open your legs.”

I did so wordlessly and he slipped his hand between my thighs and cupped my sex. I stiffened when I felt a gentle heat in his palm, which also served to briefly ignite that fading tightness between my legs.

He looked up at me and explained, “This is to wither my seed inside you, to keep you from becoming with child. I’ll teach you how to do it later.”

And then he lay back down after pulling the covers up and over us.

I lay there, unsure of what to do. What did two people normally do after lying together like that? Did he want me to leave? To stay? But I was too afraid to even open my mouth to speak, fearing to break the silence with my childish uncertainty.

But then Valdrlund turned over with his back to me and so I stared up at the ceiling and eventually did the same as him. As I tried to quietly turn onto my side, I could once again feel that disgusting slickness on my inner thighs. And now I felt the tears coming again already. I felt dirty. I wanted nothing more than to bathe, to wash Valdrlund’s sweat and scent off of me. I wanted to go back home to my father. I did not want to be here anymore.

I curled up into myself and after a while was unable to hold back the tears. I managed to not make a sound, amazingly. I put my hands over my face and tried to wipe the tears away as they came. Mercifully, I did not wake Valdrlund and was somehow eventually able to fall into an uneasy sleep.

__

It must have only been an hour or so later when I was awoken by Valdrlund.

He was touching my side beneath the covers, his fingertips dancing across my bare skin. I turned over and saw that he was lying on his side right behind me, head propped up on one arm and a smile tugging at his lips. When our eyes met, he moved his arm to wrap around me and pulled me towards him.

My heart began beating faster and I felt dismay. Did he want to do it again? But there was nothing I could do about it, I reasoned, and so I rolled obediently onto my back, thinking he was going to climb on top of me, but he was still tugging at me and he whispered roughly, “Get on top of me.”

Hesitantly, I sat up as he pushed the covers down his body to where they only covered his knees and below. I did not look at the spot between his legs where he was already nearly fully aroused. I turned over and uncertainly slid my leg across his stomach and sat on top of his hips. I could feel him hard between my spread legs and I lifted up a little, trying not to breathe too hard in my nervousness.

Valdrlund put his hands on my hips and said, “Up.”

I lifted up on my knees, supporting myself with my hands on his hard stomach, as he reached between our bodies to guide himself to my entrance. And then he was pushing me down and I slowly lowered myself onto him, wincing and letting out a little breath at the sensation of him slowly filling me.

The spot between my legs had been a little sore, but within moments the pain seemed to fade. I wondered uneasily if it would feel like this every time, but soon I felt nothing but that pleasing fullness again. I was breathing hard now, looking down at him and wondering what I was supposed to do.

He gazed up at me and grinned before digging his fingers into the soft flesh of my hips and moving my lower half on him in slow circles, bringing him even deeper into me until I was seated fully on him. I let out a gasp at the sensation of him moving inside of me like that and curled my fingers on his stomach.

“Do like this,” he murmured.

When he stopped moving me and looked up at me expectantly, I slowly leaned forward. I splayed my hands on his stomach and circled my hips just like he had showed me. He let his head fall back and he groaned and I gazed down at him, seeing what I was doing to him. Soon I closed my own eyes, thrilled at this familiar feeling beginning to build already in the pit of my stomach.

“Yes, yes, keep doing that,” he breathed as he relaxed fully onto the bed. He still held onto my hips, but no longer guided me.

I liked it. Even if I did not know exactly what to do, it felt as if my body already knew. I thought it felt good, much better than anything I had ever done with my own fingers and much better than what Valdrlund and I had done earlier.

And then I lifted up on my knees and rolled my hips against his as he had done to me earlier. He groaned and dug his nails into my skin. I did it again; Valdrlund liked that even more and I liked how he would slightly arch his back, how he would let out these short groans when I moved a certain way. And then I leaned forward and began to slowly rock my hips, wondering what that felt like, and it felt even better if that was possible.

Valdrlund opened his eyes and looked up at me and said breathily, “Do you like that, Stjarnavetr?”

I could only manage to nod in that moment. I moved my hands from his stomach to the bed on either side of him and leaned forward so our stomachs were touching. I began rocking back and forth on top of him and I loved how it felt, the sensation of him sliding in and out of me, filling me as I had never been before. I never would have thought that I might enjoy this, especially with him.

And even as I moved, lips parted and breaths coming heavily, Valdrlund panted, “Faster, Stjarnavetr.”

He held onto me and began to lift his hips up off the bed to meet me every time I came down on him and I was gasping now with the force of his thrusts, the muscles in my legs burning for this exertion. But I could feel my release building and I was eagerly anticipating it, reaching out for it, wanting so badly to fall over that precipice that I had been pulled back from just an hour or so before.

I tried to focus on nothing but him inside me, how wonderful it felt, how close I was to the edge. It came on much faster than it did last time and I was at last mercifully able to actually reach that peak. I gave into it so easily and let it take me.

It felt as if I was being torn apart; that tight coiling in the pit of my belly came undone and I could not help but to cry out. I stopped moving above Valdrlund and my arms shook as these hot waves rolled through my body and seemed to ignite every part of me. I squeezed my eyes shut and let my mouth fall open and dug my nails into the bed beneath him. I could feel my insides coming around him, heard him groan loudly and falter in his movements beneath me.

And even while I was still lost in the throes of this new and exquisite ecstasy, Valdrlund grabbed my arms and pulled me down to him. I fell forward and he took my face in his hands and kissed me hard. I could barely respond to him in that moment, but he was still moving his hips and then suddenly he took me around the middle and pushed at me. I fell easily to the side and he rolled us over and immediately began thrusting into me.

I held tightly to him, my entire body alight with this blinding pleasure. His movements were taking me higher and higher and I whimpered for this overwhelming sensation still washing through me. But then I felt Valdrlund’s hips stutter and he held himself against me, seemingly frozen, as he came. I felt that burst of wetness inside me again and I held still, feeling the tremors of my climax just now beginning to fade.

After a long moment, Valdrlund bent his shaky arms and pressed his face into the pillow beneath my head. Our bodies were covered in perspiration and I felt so hot beneath him; I could feel his breaths warm and fast near my ear, could feel his racing heartbeat against me, could smell him so strongly now. He smelled of sun and sweat, both old and new.

Slowly, he pushed himself up and to the side and collapsed with a groan next to me.

My body felt very tired and I felt this sleepiness already setting in. I was warm and the bed was comfortable and I tilted my head to the side and looked at Valdrlund. It was in that moment that I suddenly felt closer to him, if it could be called that. Was it because we had just shared this together, this joining that could not be undone? I thought now that it would always be Valdrlund who had taken this from me.

I could discern again that wetness between my legs, but I did not think of it with disgust now, oddly enough. I knew that the slickness there was just as much me as it was him. How intimate it all seemed now, instead of disgusting, to be joined like this with another.

But soon I grew too sleepy to even think on it all and I barely noticed when he gently slipped his hand between my legs to perform that spell again. I felt the brief heat of his magic and when he was done, he lightly rested his hand on my middle.

“I was correct in bringing you here, Stjarnavetr,” he murmured, planting a light kiss on my shoulder. And then he pulled away from me and for some reason I reached for and held onto his hand as he slipped out of the bed. But then my eyes were too heavy to watch him as he began quietly moving about. I closed my eyes and quickly fell into sleep.

__

It was early when I awoke.

Valdrlund’s chambers were just beginning to fill with a warm light and I saw that he was not lying in bed with me, but was sitting at his table dressed only in a pair of pants and a tunic. He was staring out into the yellowing light coming in through the open doorway which led to what looked like a stone patio of some sort.

As I studied him in the silence, I thought back to the night before and felt shame. I had been scared at first, I remembered, and then I had acted so wantonly. I wondered if my father would be ashamed of me. Certainly my mother would have been. The thought of that pained me.

After a long while, I slowly sat up and pulled the covers up over my breasts. “Your—Valdrlund?” I said quietly.

Valdrlund turned his head and looked at me. He raised his eyebrows. “Yes, love?”

I stared at him, no longer sure of what I wanted to say. When I appeared uncertain, Valdrlund rose up out of his chair and came over to the bed. He leaned over and I lifted my face so he could lightly kiss me on the lips. When he pulled back, he said softly, “You may return to your rooms. I will summon you again later tonight. I will send Skapgódr. Alright?”

I did not know what to say, so I only gave a little nod and he smiled at me before turning around. I pushed the covers down and slid off the bed, feeling now an uncomfortable soreness between my legs. I winced as my feet hit the floor; my entire body ached.

When I turned around, I gasped loudly. There was a small, dark red bloom on the snowy sheets. Fear gripped my insides and I looked up at Valdrlund, frozen in horror and expecting him to reprimand me for staining his bed. Valdrlund, who had heard my gasp, turned and looked down and saw the dried blood.

“I am so sorry, please forgive me,” I pleaded, my eyes already beginning to fill with tears. I clasped my hands together in front of me, prepared to beg his forgiveness.

But he only laughed, much to my confusion. “It is of no consequence, Stjarnavetr. My sheets are changed daily. And it shall not happen again.”

I still could not help but to feel embarrassment and did not understand how he was not angry with me. I stared in mortification at the spot, unable to look away. Only now did it seem to truly sink in that I was no longer untouched, no longer unsoiled for my future husband. The thought of that—that my honor had been besmirched so the prince might enjoy himself—brought tears to my eyes. Valdrlund must have still thought I was upset about the blood, though; he took my chin in his fingers and made me look at him.

“Fret not, Stjarnavetr. It is no matter, I told you. It only serves as the evidence that I have claimed you for myself.”

And now a cloud of unease seeped through my mind as I stared into his frigid blue eyes.

He thought he had claimed me for himself?

Valdrlund released me then and began moving around, preparing himself for the day. I began to collect my things off the floor, somewhat lost in thought, but apparently I was moving too slowly for him and he repeated impatiently, “You may go now.”

I quickly finished dressing and went to leave. I opened Valdrlund’s door and stepped out into the corridor and hastily made my way back to my own chambers. I prayed I did not see anybody on the way, but I only passed a few servants who were presumably beginning their morning duties.

Once I had reached my rooms and shut the door gratefully behind me, I immediately began crying. I put my face in my hands and yet at the same time wondered why I was weeping. Was it that I had acted so promiscuously last night, despite all my initial reservations? At first I had been afraid, but then… my face grew red to remember how much I had ultimately enjoyed it. I felt anger at myself and despaired over it. But that could not only be it, could it? It had to be my situation here, as well—my new place as Prince Valdrlund’s mistress. There was shame enough in that.

Never would I have thought that something like this would happen to me, that I might become something so disgraceful as a mistress. They would all look down on me, but I would look down on myself now, too. What would my father think when I inevitably returned to him? He understood my predicament, I knew—had lamented over it as well—but I wondered if he would still see me the same. The thought that he might see me differently, that he might think less of me, both terrified and pained me.

But there was ultimately nothing I could do about it. Valdrlund had seen me and chosen me and I simply had to bear it. My only consolation was that Prince Valdrlund did not keep his mistresses for long. Soon I would be able to return to my father, whom I already missed so terribly, and everything would hopefully be alright. I only had to endure it for a little while longer.


End file.
